Growing up in London, I was aware of some basic facts.
Number 1: That bus drivers have a schadenfreude-driven delight at splashing you in the rain. And in London, it always rains. Therefore you are always splashed. The conclusion we can draw from this is that bus-drivers are evil. Fact.
Number 2: That the one time you don't check your seat on the tube before sitting down, you will regret it. On or off it, inside or out, public transport sucks. We can't avoid it, but it sucks.
Number 3: Listening to the music of Avenue Q, whatever the situation, will always make you feel better. Nothing beats a hearty rendition of "I'm not wearing underwear today".
and Number 4: That it was a very great shame that I was growing up 12,000 miles from my family in Sydney.
You see, gentle reader, despite growing up in the UK my family has always, almost entirely, been based in Sydney (excluding my parents). As a child, this was a source of great disappointment to me. I'd watch my friends go off with their apple-cheeked, cheerful grannies, who'd cuddle them, spoil them, feed them and pamper them (we've already covered that I'm a bit of a princess - in an ideal world I would be surrounded by adoring grannies) - whilst I went home to the au pair. Alas. Life was tough. (That the au pair also looked after me, cuddled, coddled and fed me is by the by. I'm having a pity party - indulge me.)
Skip forward twenty-something years, and suddenly I find myself where I'd always wanted to be: in Sydney, surrounded by family. And suddenly I realise that 'fact' Number 4 is fiction. Or faction. Or a docu-drama waiting to happen, with plenty of blood, sweat, tears and angst.
Let me just fill you in - I have a lot of family in Sydney. So much, indeed, that in April when I spent a month holidaying here, meeting at least one new cousin each day - I still had many more to meet on my return trip. And oh dear. The penny dropped. Whilst some family can be enjoyed "up close and personal" with pleasure, for some the distance of several continents can only be counted as a very great positive.
Cue this afternoon, for example, when I went to visit my Great Aunt. Having had broigus (angst and in-fighting) with my grandmother for the last 75 years, she now seems intent to cause the same between my cousin (her grand-daughter) and I, just for kicks...
Now, the back story here, is that my Great Aunt originally went out with my Grandfather, only for her to dump him, at which point my Grandmother snapped him up (possibly literally, she has an amazingly extendable jaw). According to family folklore, Great Aunt turned to my Grandmother and said with standard contempt, and a fabulous Polish accent, "So, I see you haff taken ze rubbish zat I srew out". They've hated each other ever since.
So, in her bid to cause mayhem amongst the younger generation, Great Aunt looked at me, smiled (amazing, it's long been rumoured that she is physically incapable of smiling), and said "Darlink, you look so byoootiful". Wow, I thought. She's in a good mood. Maybe this will be an un-traumatic family episode. Maybe, just maybe, this is a sign of good things to come. Of family feuds ending, new beginnings, and - Oh, but wait. She then looked piercingly at her granddaughter, my cousin and good (up until this point) friend, and said "You, darlink, are not".
Let the games begin.
First impressions? Family, like a Monet painting, is often best enjoyed from a distance.
Love,
Belle x
Number 1: That bus drivers have a schadenfreude-driven delight at splashing you in the rain. And in London, it always rains. Therefore you are always splashed. The conclusion we can draw from this is that bus-drivers are evil. Fact.
Number 2: That the one time you don't check your seat on the tube before sitting down, you will regret it. On or off it, inside or out, public transport sucks. We can't avoid it, but it sucks.
Number 3: Listening to the music of Avenue Q, whatever the situation, will always make you feel better. Nothing beats a hearty rendition of "I'm not wearing underwear today".
and Number 4: That it was a very great shame that I was growing up 12,000 miles from my family in Sydney.
You see, gentle reader, despite growing up in the UK my family has always, almost entirely, been based in Sydney (excluding my parents). As a child, this was a source of great disappointment to me. I'd watch my friends go off with their apple-cheeked, cheerful grannies, who'd cuddle them, spoil them, feed them and pamper them (we've already covered that I'm a bit of a princess - in an ideal world I would be surrounded by adoring grannies) - whilst I went home to the au pair. Alas. Life was tough. (That the au pair also looked after me, cuddled, coddled and fed me is by the by. I'm having a pity party - indulge me.)
Skip forward twenty-something years, and suddenly I find myself where I'd always wanted to be: in Sydney, surrounded by family. And suddenly I realise that 'fact' Number 4 is fiction. Or faction. Or a docu-drama waiting to happen, with plenty of blood, sweat, tears and angst.
Let me just fill you in - I have a lot of family in Sydney. So much, indeed, that in April when I spent a month holidaying here, meeting at least one new cousin each day - I still had many more to meet on my return trip. And oh dear. The penny dropped. Whilst some family can be enjoyed "up close and personal" with pleasure, for some the distance of several continents can only be counted as a very great positive.
Cue this afternoon, for example, when I went to visit my Great Aunt. Having had broigus (angst and in-fighting) with my grandmother for the last 75 years, she now seems intent to cause the same between my cousin (her grand-daughter) and I, just for kicks...
Now, the back story here, is that my Great Aunt originally went out with my Grandfather, only for her to dump him, at which point my Grandmother snapped him up (possibly literally, she has an amazingly extendable jaw). According to family folklore, Great Aunt turned to my Grandmother and said with standard contempt, and a fabulous Polish accent, "So, I see you haff taken ze rubbish zat I srew out". They've hated each other ever since.
So, in her bid to cause mayhem amongst the younger generation, Great Aunt looked at me, smiled (amazing, it's long been rumoured that she is physically incapable of smiling), and said "Darlink, you look so byoootiful". Wow, I thought. She's in a good mood. Maybe this will be an un-traumatic family episode. Maybe, just maybe, this is a sign of good things to come. Of family feuds ending, new beginnings, and - Oh, but wait. She then looked piercingly at her granddaughter, my cousin and good (up until this point) friend, and said "You, darlink, are not".
Let the games begin.
First impressions? Family, like a Monet painting, is often best enjoyed from a distance.
Love,
Belle x
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